what I shouldn't be thinking on christmas morning

is it me
or is something still missing
from this picture
even though
dogs close by
lover in another room
coffee hot, slippers on
pillows all in a row on the couch
holiday, family, full belly
alignment, house, new striped socks

something nevertheless
what exactly
noticeable, disagreeable
something in me not quite
comfortable with all this
symmetry, wanting
the gravitation pull,
the seesaw, teetering
the open-necked plunge
of longing
imprecise, graceless
luscious, ludicrous
my own garden
to worm into
and devour.