nowhere to go but here

as if there were a doorway to slip through
a bright palette to cover over all the dark spots
a silly, lilting melody to sing through the potholes
of every little sadness
as if there were a magic trick
a pill
a sweet fruit smoothie
a tropical drink with a flotilla of orange slices
as if there were a velvet rope,
a bodyguard, a dizzying spotlight evading capture
as if there were words, a gesture, a buoy in the storm
as if there were a white flag, a cardboard fort,
an apology that could heal and replenish and compensate
for all the long-lost absences
as if there were a wool blanket, an opaque curtain, a wall,
a veil, a mirage, a miracle.

I keep thinking I'm doing it all wrong
a set of instructions I didn't read properly
arrows and passageway lights and translations
I somehow missed in my over-attention to the road.

But there is nowhere to go but here
and no matter what, this spot on the map
is mine.