it's this:

Today I will begin the day disheveled, unkempt, askew, two left feet and wrong angles, a few cards shy of a full deck, a fraction, a decimal point, a marginal error, an unremarkable percentage. And it won’t matter, it won’t, because it doesn’t matter, not really, not in the grand scheme, the bigger picture, the whole kit ‘n caboodle, not in the way that anyone will remember, and not really in a way that I will either, and it’s not out of ignorance or avoidance or the inability or unwillingness to face reality. It’s this: I am happy. And that changes everything.