November 20, 2017

everything is expensive

The appliance salesman ballooned with good news as our time in the showroom
stretched toward lunch. A sale, a rebate, a better tax break if we bought the stove
in a neighboring county! Still, it was hard to keep my gaze from wandering too far
from the numbers on the spreadsheet, his and the one perpetually nipping at my heels.
The kitchen's not burned down, has it? it demanded in a plaintive but accusing tone
and it was impossible to argue with that particular line of questioning. I'd spent
years learning to talk to my stepsons through loaves of banana bread and incalculable dozens
of chocolate chip cookies, scrubbing bowls and measuring cups as the trays cooled and they ate.
Maybe I had more baked goods behind me than poems or dollar bills, but everything
is expensive, even surrender, even love, and sometimes you just have to stop counting.