October 9, 2018

my nephew's YouTube videos * 

provide a brief amnesia from the crush and woe of hard news, and I am grateful
to be given a tour of the game he is playing and the choices his avatar
is poised to make, even though the outcomes have little bearing on anyone's future.
Still, to watch Eli's earnestness is to lay myself at the feet of innocence, to return to
those clean, undisturbed hours I pawed through the backyard to search for fragments
of old dishware, having found a single shard of brown glass one afternoon. Never mind
it was likely a half-drunk Budweiser tripped over and smashed some humid summer.
It became the origin story of whatever else might be buried underneath, and for months 
I pulled at dark, damp soil, certain of what waited just beyond my reach.
Does it really matter if I found anything there? I dug without answers, and kept digging.

* Here's his channel.